When people visit St. Innocent, I encourage them to feel at home and enjoy our hospitality. However, some have expressed concerns about not being familiar with Orthodox Church etiquette. With this in mind, I have compiled and edited a general Orthodox Church etiquette taken from various sources online.

Church Etiquette

St. Innocent Orthodox Church is a parish in the Diocese of the South of the Orthodox Church of America. When people travel around to different communities there are local traditions that may differ in some ways either culturally or due to local piety. The following etiquette is for the community of St. Innocent but could also be understood to reflect the general ethos of the Orthodox Church in America (OCA). The goal of having a general Church etiquette is not to strike fear in people, but rather to inform people of the common practices of our Church. In the modern OCA, it is not uncommon to find many sincere, devout people who were never informed about basic Church etiquette whether they were born and raised in the faith or came into the Church later in life.

Entering the Church (Late)

The time to arrive at church is before the service starts. If you arrive after the Divine Liturgy begins, try to enter the church quietly. If the Epistle or Gospel is being read or the Little or Great Entrance is taking place, wait until it is finished to quickly find your place. If Father is giving the sermon, stay in the back until he has concluded. The general rule of thumb is to try not to distract or interrupt the Liturgy when you enter. Of course, the best way to avoid this problem is to arrive on time. Those who arrive after the Gospel reading should generally refrain from partaking of the Eucharist that day as “proper preparation” for Holy Communion assumes the ascetical effort of arriving on time to the service. 

Lighting Candles

Lighting candles is an important part of Orthodox worship. We light them as we pray, making an offering to accompany our prayers. Orthodox typically light candles when coming into the church—and that is usually the best time to light them, but there are times when candles should not be lit. It is not proper to light candles during the Epistle or Gospel readings, during the Little or Great Entrances or at the sermon.

Venerating icons

When venerating icons of Christ, we kiss His feet or hand. If no feet or hand are displayed, we kiss His garment. This is also true for icons of the Theotokos and the Saints. Out of humility, and to preserve the icons we do not kiss the faces.

Standing and sitting

The traditional posture for prayer and worship in the Orthodox Church has been to stand. If you need to sit this is no sin, just be aware that there are some times when you should definitely stand such as the beginning of the service “Blessed is the Kingdom”, the Gospel reading, the Little and Great Entrances, the Anaphora “Let us stand aright”, the singing of the Creed, the “Our Father”, the distribution of Holy Communion, whenever the priest gives a blessing, and the Dismissal.

Crossing those Legs?

In some Orthodox cultures, crossing one's legs is taboo and considered to be very disrespectful. In our North American culture, while there are no real taboos concerning crossing one's legs, we tend to cross our legs to get comfortable while sitting. Should we cross our legs in church? No. Not because it is "wrong" to ever cross legs, but rather because it is too casual—and too relaxed—for being in the presence of God. Just think about it, when you get settled in your favorite chair at home, you lean back, cross your legs, and then your mind can wander anywhere it wants to. In church we should remain attentive (i.e.: “Let us attend”) at all times as a soldier prepared for (spiritual) battle before his commander whether we are sitting or standing.

Sunday Dress

Our dress should always, especially at church, be becoming of a Christian. Here are some basic guidelines:

• Children: Only young children (under 10) should wear shorts to church—and then only dress shorts. Athletic shorts, cut-offs, and spandex shorts are never appropriate church wear (for children or adults!). Shoes or sandals should be clean and tied. No one should wear T-shirts with any kind of writing on them ("This Bud's for You!" is definitely out).
• Women: For both men and women modesty is the key to dressing appropriately in Church. Modest dresses, skirts or slacks are appropriate. Tank tops, short skirts, skin-tight dresses, tight jeans and spandex type wear are never appropriate for Church. Head coverings are welcome but not required.
• Men: Men are also to dress modestly as befits a follower of Christ. While coat and tie are by no means mandatory, shirts with collars and clean pants/slacks are not too much to ask.

The above guidelines may be adjusted for services outside of Divine Liturgy, i.e. Vespers. It is better to be in church for prayer, than to not come at all for mere lack of a change of clothes—as may be the case when coming from a Saturday outing. Finally, this is not a call for someone to buy a whole new wardrobe just to be a part of the Church. Use your best judgment and good taste when it comes to Church.

Lipstick

Lipstick may look fine on lips, but it looks horrible on icons, crosses, the Communion spoon and the priest's or bishop's hand. Many Icons are now behind glass out of fear of being ruined by lipstick. Please be considerate, if you wear lipstick, blot your lips well before venerating an icon, taking Communion, or kissing the cross or the priest's or bishop's hand.

Electronic Gadgets

With all of the electronic gadgets we have today, (cell phones, handheld games, iPods, etc.), it is important to remember that most, if not all, are not appropriate for church.  So, turn off you cell phone (or at least set it to vibrate) when you enter the church and leave your other electronic gadgets in the car. It is not appropriate to be surfing online during the services.

Kiss (Don't Shake) the Priest's or Bishop's Hand

The proper way to greet a bishop or priest is to ask his blessing and kiss his right hand. How do you do this? Approach the bishop or priest with your right hand over your left and say “Father (“Master,” in the case of a bishop), bless.” When you receive such a blessing, it is Christ Himself who offers the blessing through the hand of the priest or bishop.

Snacks for Children

Parents often bring little snacks for young children to keep them occupied and quiet in church. This is fine as long as it is discreet and quiet and the parent sees to cleaning up any leftovers. By the time a child is 3-4 years old this will most likely be unnecessary. And by the time a child reaches age 7 they are mostly capable of fasting the entire morning of Holy Communion. For those children who do require snacks during service, please refrain from feeding them, even a bottle, while in line for Communion, as they ought to come to the Holy Mysteries without food already in their mouths. Chewing gum is never appropriate in church.

In and Out

Certainly, parents should have ready access to the doors to take small children out if they are distracting or need a short break—for this reason the doors are to be accessible, i.e. let us avoid the temptation to congregate around the back door, and challenge ourselves to move forward into the Nave. At St. Innocent we have a side door in the front of the nave, which is for bell ringers and wheelchair accessibility.

What do I do during the Censings?

There are many local customs dealing with the censing of the Church. In the OCA people generally move away from the walls to the center of the Church. Here at St. Innocent people can move away or stay where they are while the priest is censing. In general, while the priest or deacon is censing people should stop venerating the icons in the center of the Church.

Talking during Church

It is not appropriate to greet people and have a conversation with them during the services. This is especially true while in line for the Holy Eucharist. It is not appropriate for anyone to have conversation during communion, either before or after receiving the Eucharist. While it is a hospitable act to offer friends and visitors a piece of antidoron at this time, it is not the occasion for visiting or catching up with one another. While waiting to receive communion, we ought to be in a state of prayerful preparation, after receiving, in a state of prayerful gratitude, and if not receiving, repenting and praying quietly—or else singing along with the communion hymn. It is likewise inappropriate to begin to chat during the prayers of thanksgiving. Talk to God while in church through your prayers, hymns, and thanksgiving, and to your friends in the hall afterwards.

Preparing for communion

Part of the preparation for receiving the Holy Eucharist is fasting. Orthodox Christians are expected to fast at least from 12 midnight until they receive the Holy Mysteries unless medically unable. This fast includes abstaining from all food and drink. This fast applies to all the faithful including children over the age of 7. It is also expected that the married faithful will abstain from adult relations on the evening (from Vespers on) before receiving the Holy Eucharist.

Handling the Holy Bread

After taking Holy Communion and at the end of the liturgy, it is traditional to eat a piece of holy bread or antidoron—the bread that was left over after Holy Communion was prepared. While antidoron is not Holy Communion, it is blessed bread and as such, should be eaten carefully so that crumbs don't fall all over the place. Monitor your children as they take the antidoron and teach them to eat it respectfully.

Leaving Before the Dismissal

Leaving church before the Dismissal deprives us of a blessing. The Liturgy has a beginning ("Blessed is the Kingdom…") and an end ("Let us depart in peace…"). We live in a fast-paced world where we seem to be hurrying from place to place. But in God's presence, we need to make every attempt to fight this pressure to move on to the next thing on the day's agenda. We deprive ourselves of blessings by not being still and participating in God's holiness. It is important to stay after Communion to complete our prayer and thank God for his precious gifts to us.

A Final Thought

North American society in the early 21st century is rather casual in its approach to life. Don't allow this prevailing attitude to enter into your Orthodox Christian piety. There are surely a lot of other areas that could be covered here. Much of church etiquette is based on common sense and showing respect for God and others. Always remember that you are in church to worship God, the Holy Trinity. The priest says, "With the fear of God and faith and love, draw near." Let this be the way you approach all of worship. If you do, you will probably have good church etiquette.